Pedro Martinez is making headlines with overtures to his old ball
club. “If they want a fifth starter, I’ve been there,” Martinez said.
“I
don’t know how much they want me, but I’m available… But I have my
goals and I have my things that I want to achieve in
life. If it’s not with the Mets, it will be with someone else.”

It’s
a little sad to see a future Hall-of-Famer so desperate to get back
together with a team that clearly shows no interest. Here are a few
signs that the Mets aren’t that into you, Pedro (adapted from “He’s
Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt):

1. If He Isn’t Calling You – If the Mets wanted you, they have your agent’s number. They haven’t lost it.

2. If He’s Breaking Up with You – “Pedro is a Hall of Fame pitcher and one of the greatest pitchers of
our time, but I feel very confident in the people we have in camp that
can get the job done,” manager Jerry Manuel told the Post on Monday. Sounds like a break-up line if I ever heard one. “It’s not you, baby, it’s me.” R-i-i-i-ght.

3. If He’s Having Sex with Someone Else
– This is more figurative than literal. Johan Santana is the Big Man on
Campus. Santana won 16 games last year–only one game less than your
total number of wins in the last three seasons.

4. If He’s Disappeared on You – The Mets left Shea Stadium, and didn’t leave you a forwarding address?